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An adoptee's perspective on open adoption

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Melania shares her experience as an adult adoptee.

At my core, I’m an adopted kid. Even as an adult, whenever someone mentions adoption, they have my full attention. I want to join in with, “Oh, yes! Me too! Welcome to the club!”

Most of us spend our youth asking: Who am I? How am I like my birth parents? How am I like my adopted parents? Who do I resemble most? What if I end up more like one than the other? Am I loved? Was I loved when I was born? Why was adoption the choice my birth parents made for me?

I was no different. I looked for answers. I needed answers.

Fortunately, tracking down what I wanted to know was as easy as reading the letters my parents and birth parents exchanged when I was a little girl. My answers were accessible because all four of them communicated with each other. Today, open adoption involves even more direct contact so that biological parents, adoptees, and adoptive parents are actively part of each other’s lives from the beginning. 

In January 2019, the women in my life got together for lunch: Jennie, my birth mom; Irene, my birth grandma; Amy, my adoptive mom; and Yara, my daughter. “Magical” is the word that best expresses the significance of this gathering. Defined as “delightful in such a way as to seem removed from everyday life,” “magical” beautifully captures the way I feel about my open adoption.

The world where birthmom, grandma, adoptive mom, daughter, and granddaughter can rally around each other in unwavering love is a rare gift—a gift all five of us are fortunate to hold.

Take it from Melania: openness is often a great blessing to everyone impacted by adoption. When we counsel expectant parents, we share the benefits of being involved in their child’s life. Are you interested in beginning your adoption journey?

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